Kindness

Not too long ago, experts told us that very young children weren’t developmentally capable of empathy--the capacity to feel the emotions of another person.  That type of thinking has changed, however, which may not surprise any parent who has seen their toddler respond kindly to an unhappy friend. Research has confirmed that empathy emerges much sooner than was once thought.

In fact, the groundwork for empathy begins very early on.  Newborns in hospital nurseries will cry in response to hearing other newborns cry; four-month-old babies will look sad when their parents make a sad face; and, much like the young elephant in this issue of Babybug, eight-month-old babies will move towards their mothers or fathers when they hear another child in distress. Babies might not be quite sure about who is actually upset, but they clearly have the ability to react to the emotions of others.

By toddlerhood, children have a better understanding of the difference between their own feelings and those of others.  They begin to respond to others’ needs with kindness, usually by drawing on memories of what they themselves have found comforting. In this issue of Babybug, we see a tiger cub giving his own blanket and pillow to his exhausted mother.  Maybe you’ve seen your toddler pat a friend who is crying or offer another child the comfort of a favorite teddy bear.  

However, such displays of concern don’t happen every day with very young children.  Toddlers are beginners when it comes to empathy--but with your help, their understanding will grow over the years ahead.  

• When you describe with sympathy what your children are feeling, you are helping them recognize and name their emotions.
• When you offer your toddler suggestions for comforting another child, you’re teaching them practical ways to respond.
• When you respond with kindness to your babies’ or toddlers’ delight, their despair, their joy and their anger, you’re giving them first-hand experience in how to care for themselves-and others.  

Playing Together

Sometimes the best toys are the least expensive ones. Here are a few ideas:

• A bag of sponges from a dollar store makes an affordable bathtub toy. Cut them into large triangles, squares, and circles for your toddler to soak, squeeze and stick to the side of the tub.
• Peg-style wooden clothespins and a metal cake pan will interest a baby who can sit up and grasp objects. Line the clothespins up around the edge of the pan so your baby can pull them off and drop them into the pan with a satisfying CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK.
• Turn a large cardboard box over and put plastic dishes on it. Enjoy a pretend meal together.
• Make a shape sorter by cutting holes in the bottom of a large shoebox. Cut a square hole for blocks, a slot for jar lids, and a circle for balls.
• Hold your baby in your arms, turn on your favorite music, and dance.
• Talk softly to your baby through a cardboard tube. At first, she may want to peek inside to see where the sound came from, but eventually she’ll try to make sounds back to you through it.
• If your baby can sit steadily, put her on a blanket and pull her gently around the room. Most babies are delighted with this new form of transportation.
• Tie a short string to your laundry basket to make a large pull toy.
• You be the engine--your toddler's the box car! Chug along together, pretending to be a train. It’s a great way to help your child move from one activity to another. Your train might chug from the living room to the kitchen table for lunch, out to the car for a trip to the store, or even make a pit stop in the bathtub. Even busy trains need a little soap and water to look their best!